ChChChChanges

Last night I got what I wanted. Let me start by saying that I have never had the best luck with boys or men, I am the one they just look right through. Normally when I like someone I get to like from a far, I wish that they would like me, I daydream about how it would be if we went out or if we kissed or cuddled. But last night that normal dream came true. I thought today I would be so happy like living in bliss...But im not. I am second guessing everything wondering why isn't he texting me, and blah blah blah. Something doesn't feel right about all this. I have this bad feeling and maybe im just second guessing my self, maybe its self sabotage or maybe I just don't like being happy. Honestly I want to be able to enjoy these moments, but instead I am sitting here writing down all my thoughts about how unsure I am. I am 18 just graduated high school, just went to prom had all those high school last and now my adult life starts and this is what is thrown at me. I am not saying I am not happy, I am fucking stoked beyond belief! I finally got what I wanted, a guy that I have like for months now. Have facebook stocked (kinda sorta) for months now. I guess I don't deal well with getting what I want or happiness or any of that normal stuff. I just want to be happy, I think this is the first time I have ever ranted about a boy like this. I just want to be happy and back to myself but with maybe someone new with me.