My world is falling apart.

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My not sure how to feel. Ive never not had a best friend. No one will ever be mae again. She has known me and my life for so long, i never had to explain anything. We were just memories, stacked on memories. We had our own way of communicating. I feel like i broke up with someone, so much has changed. Life has no real direction. Its never been this way before.

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Its okay that you deleted me from your life. Its making getting over this easier. I just hope that one day we can talk again, but who knows. Whatever happens know that I will always be here for you... its a loyalty thing.

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I didnt know it was possible to feel so alone.

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Its hard these days. I feel so lost inside, a pain ive never know is taking over. Its new and its numbing and it hurts in a strange way. Life is taking me on such a strange trip and i wish i knew where. Things around me are in disorder, yet inside i am so calm. I so wish i could run away. Somewhere new, but ive done that time and time again. And i always end up me. Its like i cant out run me, but i dont want to live in this head. I miss my best firend, i miss the happy times, i miss so much these days. I know brighter days are to come, i just wish they could hurry up.

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Another day...

Sometimes its just too hard to miss someone. Its just better to close that door in your mind. To just move forward and not look back. Memories are just the past trying to bring you down. I'm just sad that you dont care. Thinking about everything makes my heart feel like a stone is sitting on it. People just dont understand how it feels to have your sister turn her back on you. Maybe one day things will change, but I doubt it.

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i had the most amazing anniversary.

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