21

I cant believe you wont be there when i turn the big 21. This life is so different then anything i had planned. I wish sometimes for something to change, like a big change something to rattle my life...but in a postive way. I want an adventure, and for once i am seeing its all on me to make it happen. I miss you, more and more everyday. You will never know how much, but its deep. Its like loosing your sister, and soul mate. Heres to you, may your day be filled with light, love, and more positive days then negitive.

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You texted me again. This time you told me you had loved me, and that you have never felt for a girl like you did for me. I wish you could have felt this back then. Oh how life is, and the things we wanted and the things we can have now. Im worth more then you made me feel. Finally... goodbye Andy.

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My world is falling apart.

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My not sure how to feel. Ive never not had a best friend. No one will ever be mae again. She has known me and my life for so long, i never had to explain anything. We were just memories, stacked on memories. We had our own way of communicating. I feel like i broke up with someone, so much has changed. Life has no real direction. Its never been this way before.

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Its okay that you deleted me from your life. Its making getting over this easier. I just hope that one day we can talk again, but who knows. Whatever happens know that I will always be here for you... its a loyalty thing.

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I didnt know it was possible to feel so alone.

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Its hard these days. I feel so lost inside, a pain ive never know is taking over. Its new and its numbing and it hurts in a strange way. Life is taking me on such a strange trip and i wish i knew where. Things around me are in disorder, yet inside i am so calm. I so wish i could run away. Somewhere new, but ive done that time and time again. And i always end up me. Its like i cant out run me, but i dont want to live in this head. I miss my best firend, i miss the happy times, i miss so much these days. I know brighter days are to come, i just wish they could hurry up.

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