july 22 2012

Mae gave up on our friendship today. I am chosing to be numb about it all. Writing about it isnt an option but i know i will care about this date in the future. Man growing up sucks.

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one year ago

Aug 14th. A date burned into my brain. Last year i as at work and you texxted me telling me it was over and i deserved better...a year later i will be at work again, only this time i have found better. I think about you less and less. Dont get me wrong i would love to be stuck in a room with you so i could pick your brain, but it is not possible and thats a good thing. Idk just felt like the right time to blog.

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aug 8th

The 14th will be a year since things were called quits and i moved on. Its 6 days from that and i finally run into you. I feel like i am buzzing. I hope you saw me and thought "damn i fucked up" but sadly i doubt it.

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I like how fast the days go, when your totally numb.

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july 22 2012

Mae gave up on our friendship today. I am chosing to be numb about it all. Writing about it isnt an option but i know i will care about this date in the future. Man growing up sucks.

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Im the loser friend. The one no one likes. I feel like its not worth it. I hate being alone so much. Like soo much. Fuck ima so over this. WHY THE FUCK CANT I HAVE FUN AND BE YOUNG WHY AM I SO FUCK IT. FUCK THIS LIFE, IMA SO OVER IT.

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Signed, lost and scared.

You know what sucks. When you are 20 and everything falls apart, and you might end up with out a home, and all you wanna do is focus on having a good education but everything seems to be agains you. I am so worried about everything, and there is no one to talk to. When i do talk people just dont understand so they just act like its no big deal. I am begainning to feel like my life is just a joke and no one ever felt like telling me. So all i do now is write. I write my thoughts all the time. Its the only way to feel better. Now i must clock in to my job and play happy for a few hours. Dear universe, all mighty gods, whole ever is listening. Please help my household. I cant handle this much longer.

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