Im the loser friend. The one no one likes. I feel like its not worth it. I hate being alone so much. Like soo much. Fuck ima so over this. WHY THE FUCK CANT I HAVE FUN AND BE YOUNG WHY AM I SO FUCK IT. FUCK THIS LIFE, IMA SO OVER IT.

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Signed, lost and scared.

You know what sucks. When you are 20 and everything falls apart, and you might end up with out a home, and all you wanna do is focus on having a good education but everything seems to be agains you. I am so worried about everything, and there is no one to talk to. When i do talk people just dont understand so they just act like its no big deal. I am begainning to feel like my life is just a joke and no one ever felt like telling me. So all i do now is write. I write my thoughts all the time. Its the only way to feel better. Now i must clock in to my job and play happy for a few hours. Dear universe, all mighty gods, whole ever is listening. Please help my household. I cant handle this much longer.

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what do you do when you have no one to talk to?

The worst thing is to have so much in your head but you cant say any of it out loud. I feel trapped, I need things to change O god i need things to change. i dont think i can stand this all much longer. I feel like i might break at any moment.

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best friend

Tonight you finally told be how you feel. Im sorry best friend that i suck apparently. Im sorry that i have a big mouth. But i am who i am. I cant change everything just so you can like me. Maybe this is growing up, maybe losing people is just part of it. Maybe i need this. I have no idea anymore who you and i are to eachother. I think you would be so much happier if you could just runaway with him. And you know what thats fine. Life changes people, it just does. I miss you, but maybe this is how its supposed to be. Who really knows anymore. Maybe i need to start taking things more seriously....

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I have no idea whats going on inside this skull of mine. Its like everyday I have this battle with myself. One: i hate facebook and that face that our lives are so tied to it. Two: people suck and can drive. Three: i just wanna go home shower and eat my edible. Four: i really love that this is an app. None of this is deep like i always try to be, but i have no one to really talk to anymore, so i might as well make the internet my friend.

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I started this so long ago, and yet I feel like I am still that same lost girl. I have lived though more, seen more, felt heart break. I was a virgin when I started this. Not just in the normal sense, but in a kinda of sheltered way. I was behind on so much. Yet, now I write. My words are simple, I feel lost still. Its a different kind tho. I think about too much, but none of it means anything. I just want life to start and for me to take my place in the drivers seat. I dont know what my future hold. Who I will be, or if I will even like myself. All I do know is that it my life. I choose the people, the stories, and hurt, and love, and every fucking little thing. I hope these good days keep coming. They feel so fresh. Like I can finally see the sunny days again.