I got what I wanted again. You see I really liked this boy for well... pretty much all of high school. He was one of my best friends older brother. I reallllyyy liked him, like he was the one that broke my heart without even trying. I made him out to be this person in my head and that person broke my heart. Well on the 14 my friend had a little shin dig at her house and he was there. I had one to many and ended up in his room with him. I can't believe no one tried stopping me. I did a little to much (I still have my V card). I guess the lesson for me this summer was "What you want, isn't always what you expect it to be". I fantasied about him. How we would go on a date of mini golf. He would put his arms around me and we would kiss, then after a little time we would fool around. WELL BOY WAS I WRONG. I blame drunk me for this. I just really want a boy who will want to mini golf with me on the first date and not try and get head. I want a boy who will tell me to go to sleep when I have drank to much, and will just let me fall asleep on his chest. I want a man. I guess as my tattoo said "Everything Happens For A Reason". I start College in a few hours. Its kinda strange to think about. High school ended for me and life really did begin. I had to pay bills, started smoking, all I did was work and hang out with friends, got rejected for my only love (CSz), Hooked up with people ( sober and drunk). Well I have a resolution. Lets call it my summer one. I never did make a new years one... Well my resolution is... No more living in the past. This is my future. I will make friends. I will RUSH. I will take my life in my hands, and I will be okay with were it goes from here. Cuz there is a reason I did not get what I wanted in some areas of my life. There is a plan for me and I am traveling on it. So college here is to you. May we get along and you teach me and I will teach you.
Cheers to the future of this 18 year old child.
